missrionx

I find it hard to believe that I’m 20 years old. I mean I know I am, but most days I feel like I should still be waking up and going to school, doing homework at night and dealing with drama that goes along with it all. But that’s over and done with. Where did time go?Now I have to wake up five days a week 8-5 and chase little two year olds around at a daycare. That’s my full-time job. Don’t get me wrong, most days it’s really fun; kids really do say the darndest things. Not to mention they are adorable, even if they do stress me out easily. 

I feel like I should have my own place already, and have a job that I was always hoping for, something in media, like photography or video editing. But then there is the circle I get stuck in, I don’t want to put more time and effort into school, but to get where I want to get in life, unfortunately, school comes round full circle and traps me. Stuck once again. When does it end? The circle I mean. I want what I see in my head, a home or apartment would suffice, my boyfriend here with me and just living. Right now I’m still at home, which I can’t complain about, working at a daycare and missing my boyfriend like crazy. It all seems unfair to me, but I feel like a lot is lately. 

Sorry for venting on you guys, I just needed to say it. 

Lately I’ve been seriously undecided with what I want to do with my life. When I started working at the daycare, I thought, “hey i love working with these kids, maybe I should be a teacher or teacher aide”. It’s been almost 7 months and I have seriously changed my mind on that, mainly because of the fact that it is very energy draining and stressful to deal with kids all the time. Sure, it’s a given that these are young kids, 2-3 year olds, so sure they are going to be a handful, but older kids are a handful too, we have them there as well. So as far as that road goes, I think I’m just about over it. No teacher/school district type jobs for me. 

Then there’s the art factor. I love editing and filming youtube videos, even if I might not be that interesting to listen to or even if I’m not as good as I think I am. I still love it. And that would be something I would be happy about doing for a living, but it’s not something I can do living in a small town. And though I do love big cities, I’m not sure how I would feel about living in one, or having to commute every day. So that is yet another fail, or who knows maybe later in life I will decide to go that route. 

And then there’s photography. I love it, and it is undoubtably the one job that could possibly make me the most happy. But anyone can pick up a camera and try to sell their work. I however am a horrible salesperson. I would never be able to promote myself to be the best. 

Lately I have been teetering with the idea of environmental conservation and working for animal rescues ( because every time I see one of those animal abuse commercials I cry; yes I do ). I don’t understand at ALL how people could do that to helpless animals and it makes me really want to work in that field more considering it affects me that much. I’m not quite sure how you get into those fields of work though. I feel like a lot of them are volunteer only. And as much as it would mean to me and I would feel like I am doing something good for the planet and animals, volunteer work doesn’t pay the bills. So once again, I’m stuck. 

There are so many things in today’s world that I would be happy with doing as a career, but a lot of them require a lot of school, something I don’t have too much patience for. However lately, I feel like I’m realizing it’s school or nothing. So I need to get my shit together before I’m too old for it haha. 

Anyone care to offer any advice?

bitemesomerhalder:

then I say “the guy that plays that sexy vampire!” and they’re like:

then I show them his pictures and they’re like:

And THEN I’m like: